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J U N E 2 0 1 4 | O R E X C E L L E N C E. C O M S U P P L E M E N T T O O U T P AT I E N T S U R G E R Y M A G A Z I N E O N L I N E
K I C K E R
face of modern-day challenges takes true commitment. They say that success in
marriage is not only about finding the right partner, it is about being the right
partner. Make the decision to have high-integrity values. Your commitment to
your marriage is a decision. You have to make that decision to honor your com-
mitment every day.
• Focus on what matters. Live in the moment. Forget the past (forgiveness
liberates!). And be the best we can now, and choose to love. Your mission is to make
your significant other feel loved and lovable. Focus on the relationship, not the
things. The world is promoting more and more that it's all about the Benjamins, the
house, the car. But you need to focus on your relationship, because that's what really
going to sustain you.
• The skin-to-skin challenge? Make the commitment to cuddle naked for
20 minutes to reconnect emotionally. Just hold each other and relish the close-
ness. Be present, with no expectations.
• Simple rules to live by. It is more important to be in the relationship than
to be "right." Married couples like to push each other's buttons. Do you want your
spouse to be your mentor or tormentor? You decide by your actions. The ego caus-
es some partners to want to always be right, to always be the controlling one.
Don't let unresolved things get away from you.
• The work trap. Figure out how many hours a day and week you spend on the
job versus your relationship. You have to make up for it. It's not the quantity of time,
it's the quality of time. You can't just work, work, work. But we get caught in the
trap of work, work, work, because that's where you get your satisfaction and your
kudos. Instead of doing one more thing at the office, give that time to be in the rela-
tionship. Make decisions that are good for your marriage.
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