• You've mastered the art of the 15-minute break — go to the bath-
room, drink some water, eat something and check your phone — but
you wonder how smokers get all those essentials done, and still find
time to fire up a heater in their secret designated smoking area in
your smoke-free campus.
• You've organized your dresser drawers like the medication carts
and supply cabinets at work: newest items to the back and older
items to the front. You do outdates, and try to keep a par level of 2 for
most things. You front things in your drawers. You know, the just-
washed things under the items that were done yesterday. You also
sort your closet by color and size.
• The "5-Second Rule" never applies in your world. Ever. I've observed
lay-people drop a bite of food, pick it up, look at it,
blow and then gobble it right down. As long as
they picked the food off the floor within 5 sec-
onds, they think bacteria didn't have time to
transfer to the food. I have gasped in horror to
watch a mother pick up a dropped pacifier,
swirl it around in her mouth, and then put it
back in the baby's mouth. In my OCD world,
there is no 5-Second Rule anywhere for any-
thing. I won't even eat that which has fallen
on my counter at home, much less on my
own floor.
• Your blood runs cold when you see some-
one touching dirty scrubs other than their own
with their bare hands. Sometimes touching the
scrubs I've had on for the last 8 to 10 hours seems
to be a little dodgy to me.
• You want to yank the person sitting on a clean
Behind Closed Doors
BD
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