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BEHIND CLOSED DOORS
let in the wall). For sure, electric power makes your job easier — no
manual cranking or foot-pedaling to raise a 300-plus-pounder — but
who comes up with this stuff? Also, take note: Stretchers usually
won't roll over even the thinnest wires.
• Inconsiderate colleagues. Don't you just love people who take the
last one of something on the supply shelves and leave the empty box,
just to let the rest of us know that it's gone? These may be the same
people who put broken equipment away (possibly the only time they
ever put anything away) for someone else to discover.
• Home-laundering scrubs. I don't feel good about wearing scrubs in
from outside or washing them myself. Linen services can be hit-ormiss — ever unfold a bedsheet to find an EKG lead stuck to it? — but
sometimes you get scrubs with notes from previous occupants: phone
numbers, names, miscellaneous digits, random words. If I called those
numbers and spoke the words, could I access some offshore bank
accounts while I'm waiting for this never-ending case to finish?
• Disappearing IV poles. Where do IV poles go to hide? I know they're
not being put away, because no one ever puts anything away when
they're done using it. I know all my colleagues' secret hoarding places,
and they're not there. Is someone taking them home for household
use or building materials in a DIY project?
• Economizing on personal protective equipment. Cheap exam gloves are
the worst. When you don a pair and they split right up the middle of
your palm, it makes you wonder how much of the wet stuff you've
N O V E M B E R 2012 | O U T PAT I E N T S U R G E R Y M A G A Z I N E O N L I N E
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