sea, chills, sweats, any kind of
ache you can imagine. I felt
like I had the flu, only I knew
exactly what the cure was
and, to me, putting pain meds
into my body was not just the
easy thing to do, but the right
thing to do to be normal
again. I needed to function;
without meds in my system, I
couldn't. The longer I needed
them to keep working as a
CRNA, the more of them I
needed, and the more I need-
ed, the more I lied to conceal
this underbelly of my day-to-
day being.
I realized I'd become physi-
cally dependent, not because
of any euphoric high that con-
sumed me when I took opioid medication, but because of how horri-
ble I felt without it. What I didn't know was to raise my hand and say I
needed help at that very moment. I couldn't do that, though, without
feeling that I'd be marked forever with a scarlet letter of addiction,
and so I plowed through the next 6 months as my problem began to
spiral. I got myself another 2 Vicodin prescriptions. They quickly ran
out.
From Vicodin to fentanyl
Once my pills ran out, my eye wandered to my work, and I realized
D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 7 • O U T PA T I E N TS U R G E R Y. N E T • 4 1
• THE TIME TO STRIKE Diverters strike when peers are distracted,
dipping into wasted supply or replacing medication with placebo substi-
tutes like saline. Keep a watchful eye where drugs are stored.
Pamela
Bevelhymer,
RN,
BSN,
CNOR
