Outpatient Surgery Magazine - Subscribers

Hip With the Times - July 2017 - Outpatient Surgery Magazine

Outpatient Surgery Magazine, providing current information on Surgical Services, Surgical Facility Administration, Outpatient Surgery News and Trends, OR Excellence and more.

Issue link: http://outpatientsurgery.uberflip.com/i/845806

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Page 168 of 168

his mouth when he starts with his yelling and belittling of the scrub tech. > Wolverine Possessing a powerful regenerative ability known as a healing factor would be great next time you drop stuff on your feet, or run over your toes with the robot or C-arm. Wolverine has 3 retractable claws housed within each forearm. We all know a good nurse always has sharp scissors at hand. > Storm Storm's ability to manipulate weather would help us drive through snow to get to work at dark thirty in the morning. A little lightning could zap those people standing in the hall doing nothing. Storm can flash-freeze specimens before you send them to pathology for a frozen section. Storm can control inner ear pressure, causing great pain. Yes! This would come in handy when those in a higher income bracket started with their hostile behavior. > Superman Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomo- tive. Who couldn't use this? We'd never be behind on our chart- ing on those ditzel cases that take all of 10 minutes to do. Superman's X-ray vision means no more waiting on radiology or the C-arm. I could see exactly where the fracture is. "Nope, Doctor, you aren't even close to getting that screw in at that angle." It certainly doesn't hurt that Superman also has a body of steel. Who doesn't want abs and buns of steel? Remember, Superman is really mild-mannered journalist Clark Kent. Writing this column qualifies me as a journalist. I still need some work on that mild-mannered part. OSM Contact Ms. Watkins at pwatkins12@comcast.net. J U L Y 2 0 1 7 • O U T PA T I E N T S U R G E R Y. N E T • 1 6 9

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