of my patients. One patient pleaded with me to do her surgery before
Jan. 1 in order to avoid a $10,000 deductible!
As a result, my case log rivaled the Brooklyn Yellow Pages. Needless
to say, December was an exhausting month. On most days, hopes for
a 5 o'clock finish were ambitious to say the least. After jettisoning
teaching and helping to scrub the floors, I was able to finish (most
days) on time.
I did go later than anticipated on a couple occasions — once due to
an unanticipated surgical finding that required extensive work, the
other due to blind ambition where I convinced the staff (and myself)
that I could readily perform a rather complex rotator cuff reconstruc-
tion in 1 hour. Not! Thanks to an understanding staff and a little extra
money in the church offertory, all is well in the universe for now.
Give yourself a break
I will also try to be kinder to myself and stop beating myself up for
things I can't control. Whenever the results of surgery (despite our
best efforts) weren't what we'd hoped, I'd beat myself up with blame
and an overwhelming sense of guilt. Let's just say that I not only
enjoyed guilt trips, I ran the travel agency! Once I did jury duty and I
spent the whole week trying to convince the other jurors that I did it.
My more enlightened self recognizes that there are many factors
beyond one's surgical control. The aberrant vessel that caused the
bleeding is simply beyond my sphere of influence. Same goes for the
rotator cuff tissue the consistency of Kleenex and the defective suture
anchor that crumbles upon insertion.
Let me end by asking you to join me this year in doing more of what
you love and less of what you don't.
OSM
Dr. Kelly (johndak4@gmail.com) is an orthopedic surgeon/sports-shoulder
specialist who practices in Philadelphia, Pa.
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