thing to keep the alarm from going off and hearing Dr. Dread say "Fix
it, fix it, fix it!" Change the units, change the pads, change sights (both
thighs and both calves). Remove hair better than a spa wax job. Wash
body parts like it's Saturday night in the Ozark Mountains. I'll even use
good ol' rubbing alcohol with a 10-minute dry time so oil never again
comes to the surface of that section of skin.
• Ringing OR phones. My blood pressure rises when someone calling
an OR lets the phone ring and ring and ring. If no one answers after 5
rings, hang up. Take it to the bank we're putting our patient above a
phone call. If the call is that important, give a message to the surgery's
front desk and ask someone to please deliver it. If someone in scrubs is
sitting around, maybe they can get up off their buttock-imprinted chair
and walk their backside to that room and deliver that important mes-
sage.
• Fluid suction sound. Ever notice that the sound of a fluid suction
device causes you to suck the air out of the room? Yes, you're holding
your breath during the whole case and you just didn't know it. Want
to know how you know? At the end of the case when you turn the
system off and the sucking sound stops, you exhale that breath you've
been holding and it feels so good.
• Your name on the overhead page. Hearing your name called out
over the department to report somewhere triggers a mild panic
attack. What have I done now? What wonderful little case are they
giving me this time? Seriously: How often have you been called to
report somewhere and it was good news?
OSM
Ms. Watkins can be reached at pwatkins12@comcast.net.
J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 7 • O U T PA T I E N TS U R G E R Y. N E T • 1 6 3