Changing channels here, OR 2, please. It's ENT. Which means a
morning of tiny patients. Screaming tiny patients. Plus mountains of
specimen cups for tonsils, dozens of ear tubes to be documented and a
surgeon who doesn't like me. Nope, not interested.
Click. Let's have a look at OR 3. Orthopedics! I like orthopedics. I like
doing total joints. What's the first case? An arthroscopy. Uh, OK. On a
shoulder. Hmmm. A whole day of shoulder arthroscopies. With fast
turnovers. Hey, what else is on?
Quick, channel me to OR 4. Plastics there. Five augmentation mam-
moplasties, with a couple of reconstructions thrown in. They're also
expecting rapid turnovers. The implants are piled high on the hall
table, along with the trials. They have some specimen containers
ready, too, since the surgeon sends breast tissue to pathology. And
pathology likes for you to bring the specimens as soon as they're
taken out of the body, fresh not frozen. Why? Just because they say
so. Too high-maintenance for me. Click.
Cool! OR 5 is extracorporeal shock wave lithotripsy. Non-invasively
breaking up kidney stones is my first choice every time. I'll take
ESWL for $1,200, Alex! Sorry, someone else beat you to the buzzer.
Back to the schedule.
OR 6. No, no, no, no, no! This is vascular! Move on! Move on! Hit the
button quick before you get stuck in this room for the rest of the day!
Whew. OR 7. Lucky No. 7, what do we have here? General surgery.
Ah, yes. A schedule of hernias, breast biopsies, gall bladders, bowel
resections and a possible appendectomy waiting in the wings. A day's
worth of predictable cases. Hosted by the slow, methodical general
surgeon. Who'll be doing things the same way all day. Just what I was
in the mood for. May I take this room? Why yes, I'd be glad to stay
over, think nothing of it.
Behind Closed Doors
BCD
1 4 0 • O U T PA T I E N T S U R G E R Y M A G A Z I N E • J U L Y 2 0 1 6
