BEHIND CLOSED DOORS
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O U T P AT I E N T S U R G E R Y M A G A Z I N E O N L I N E | O C T O B E R 2 0 1 4
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Got an odor that's got you down?
Reach for the new scent going around.
It once was used to pack a wound,
But now it's for the best well-groomed.
Iodoform, dab it here and there,
Now you're OR debonair!
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We thought it was pretty funny, but — as I mentioned — surgical
humor is an acquired taste. Anyway, we weren't quite done yet with
the jingles.
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Do you have cracks and cuts that won't stay shut?
On your fingers, hands or on your butt?
Seal them up with Dermabond glue.
Make your body parts look like new!
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Full-time equivalent
It wasn't too far of a stretch to start pitching products that surgery needs.
Like a RoboNurse or RoboTech. Why not? There are surgical robots,
room disinfection robots and pharmacy dispensing robots. What about a
robot that can solve short-staff nightmares without a complaint?
"Got a vacant slot? I think not. Cause you got the 'Bot!" The 'Bot turns
over rooms tirelessly and charts to EMRs wirelessly. It can lift anything
and pass everything. Plug it in overnight and it's ready for another FTE-
worthy one-and-a-half before humankind even shows up on the premises.
When you've got the 'Bot, there's no more worrying about call-outs, per-
sonality disputes, workers' comp injuries or enforcing breaks. "Get some
steel in your room: 'Bot-a-bing, 'Bot-a-boom." (We'd need some pretty
solid legal disclaimers, too, just in case a mechanical helper ever went
