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CUTTING REMARKS
that the leg hangs freely. I press the LOWER LEG button on the automated table control panel only to see the head gradually descend! After
anesthesia screams, I realize that environmental services personnel
have dyslexia! More frequent flyer miles to the chapel.
Then there's the problem of traction. Hip arthroscopy is very exacting
and requires significant traction to the leg. Sturdy traction tables are
essential. I apply traction to the leg while prepping, only to find that the
leg of the traction table isn't secured to the bed. I come to this realization when I hear assorted clunks and clangs while applying traction.
When the leg of the traction table finally hits the floor, I usually exclaim:
"Houston, we have a problem." Get the chaplain. It must be Surgeon A's
turn to use the real traction table. The one I'm relegated to using was
purchased at Wal-Mart. Sadly, it's as sturdy as a Suzy Homemaker set. I
try anyway, only to find that after about 10 pounds of traction, the parts
begin to loosen and traction is lost. Call in the bishop.
Let's not forget the foot holders. They're made for Shaquille O'Neal
and my patient is 4-foot-11. I do what I can to pad the foot with adhesive tape. Sometimes this works. Other times, it's time for last rites —
not for the patient, but for me.
Grin and bear it
Equipment issues are simply part of the deal. Thankfully, I've been
blessed with a staff that goes into rapid-response mode to address the
ever-present challenges. And yes, despite my frequent sojourns to the
chapel, I remain far from sainthood. OSM
Dr. Kelly (johndak 4@gmail.com) is an orthopedic surgeon/ sports-shoulder
specialist who practices in Philadelphia, Pa.
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O U T PAT I E N T S U R G E R Y M A G A Z I N E O N L I N E | O C T O B E R 2013
