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BEHIND CLOSED DOORS
plastic shopping bag recycled from the break-room refrigerator. We
just finished orienting the guy we hired in the home improvement
store parking lot. He'll take your vital signs and record them on a junk
mail envelope with a lottery-stand pencil. Take your belongings with
you when you walk to the OR, as you won't be returning here for
recovery. Your anesthesia will be provided by Dr. Leatherstrap, and
your surgeon, Dr. Shortstraw, uses the techniques he perfected 70
years ago. Pain medication is a la carte; please mark your menu ahead
of time and have correct change in the checkout line. OSM
Ms. Watkins can be reached at pwatkins12@comcast.net.
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