ings have a way of shutting down your brain.
• In-services. After weeks of struggling to get the (new and
improved?) item to function the way the literature reads, the industry
rep excitedly tells us which magic buttons to push. By this point, I'm
numb to the fact that it will ever be of use to me.
• Long and winding consents. Ever work with a surgeon who puts
every conceivable procedure on the consent? Take the GYN who
scheduled the case as a laparoscopic tubal ligation, but listed every
conceivable procedure: diagnostic laparoscopy, tubal ligation, possible
oophorectomy, possible laparotomy, possible lysis of adhesions, hys-
teroscopy, myomectomy, dilatation and curettage, endometrial abla-
tion, removal of diseased or damaged tissue and cystoscopy.
I can't make this up. Does he have any idea all the equipment we'll need
in that room? He doesn't. Nor does he care. Oh, and he's an hour late.
• Nail cases. Fingernail and toenail cases can make the blood run
cold and the skin turn clammy. Some shudder at the sight of a Freer
Elevator being dug under the nail. Others have to look away when a
nylon suture goes through the tip of the toe and into the nail bed.
• Long skin closures. Don't you just love the new RNFA or PA who
takes For-Ev-Er to close the skin, settling for nothing less than a per-
fect stitch. "Now, how long has the patient been asleep?"
• Know-it-all surgeons. Sometimes we can't get out of the way of
our own egos. Take the rookie surgeon who was struggling mightily to
get the femoral head out during a total knee case. No matter how hard
she pulled, it wouldn't give. Staff members offered to help, but the sur-
geon uttered the S-words: Shut up and stop trying to help me. Double
ouch. She broke scrub and phoned a friend for help. Her veteran col-
league gave her the same advice that her team was trying to. Doubt
she'll recover from shooting herself in the foot. Do they issue
enhanced medical licenses?
OSM
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